A.R.E we there yet?: my baby roo.

So we're on day 10 in the NICU and Avery has rebounded awesome from yesterday's events. They started her feeds again today and I was able to give her some fresh milk as I used the NICU's pump room while my mom said good bye to Avery. It has been so nice having my mom here to help out this past week and Avery will miss her as will Bill and I.
This afternoon at 4:00, she was getting a new head mask that was a size bigger to hopefully aleviate some potential skin break down . Preemie's skin is so sensative that having something like that mask on all day, everyday can cause some issues. Her new gear looks more roomy and cozy, so hopefully it helps.
The nurse at that visit said she was going to let me hold Avery until the Respiratory Therapist decided to change her mask out. Holding and changing would have been too much in a short time for such a little being, so she said she wasn't able to do it. I have learned not to get my hopes up in terms of holding, so I didn't take it personally.
The nurse also told me that I am out pumping Avery and have already moved in to my 2nd storage bin in the NICU freezer. They suggested we start storing some of it at home for a later use because if I am producing this much milk I should have no problem keeping up with her needs. That news made this momma very proud and happy.
At our night visit, the nurse informed me that I needed to make a decision, to do full care or to hold her. Of course, after a second of thought, I chose to hold. After we finished with the essential tasks, she set me up for our first round of kangaroo care (for those who don't know, this is skin on skin contact holding). She snuggled her in to my tank top and told me to be very still and quiet. For about a half an hour we got to sit like this. It was amazing! It felt like Avery was back where she was meant to be; with me. I have struggled with knowing that her time was cut short in the comforts of the womb and sometimes feel extreme loss from the pregnancy ending so early and abruptly. I miss her and I, and this moment was the closet I can get to fulfilling the time we need together. And she tolerated it so well. That half hour seemed like forever to me, in the best sort of way. The nurse said that now they will see how she does following the hold, to see if she has any decels in her heart from exhaustion, agitation, etc. If that is the case, we probably won't kangroo care again until she's a little bigger. If she does well, then we will probably be able to do it once a week until she can build up more stimina. I cannot wait for tomorrow afternoon's visit to see how she did!!
The nurse did inform us this evening that she has some concerns w/ pulling blood out of her stomach. She said that it is possible it is a side effect of the meds she was on for her PDA, a stress ulcer, or bleeding from her transfusion. The blood was fresh and red, which would be an extra, immediate, really bad kind of thing. So she is going to notify the doctor and agreed to call if anything changed. I hope my phone doesn't ring tonight...