A.R.E we there yet?: home, bittersweet, home...

Today, after 3 weeks in the hospital, I was discharged. Under any other circumstances I would have been begging to go but the reality was that I was leaving, and leaving behind Avery. I knew it would be hard, but it was a million times harder than I prepared myself for. The excitement of going home, being with my husband, seeing my cats, completely went away because I left the biggest part of me behind in that hospital. The part of me that was the whole reason I was there in the first place. It is really tough knowing it will be months before we finally get our chance to bring Avery home with us. I know she is exactly where she needs to be, I just wish I could be with her. In the meantime, I will continue to visit as often as possible and be as hands on as they will let me. Until I return to work I have more flexibility to be there more so I am going to take advantage of it. So I will be bumming lots of rides (cause I can't drive) or taking the bus or doing whatever I have to.
Avery is going on day 4 in the NICU. Today's reports from the nurses and doctors seemed more like the reality I was expecting going in to things. She had a scan of her heart and head today. Luckily there was no indication of any brain bleeds so far! Her heart scan did show that she has PDA, which is the valve that did not close at birth. She is showing other signs that it may be causing some additional side effects, so for now they will continue to closely monitor but may need to treat with medication. The downfall to the meds is that it can cause other problems. So one solution can lead to more issues. It is such a science that I am trusting they are making the right decisions and doing what is best for her.
She seems to be tolerating breast milk somewhat well. She gets it every 6 hours and at our last visit the nurse said there was no residual stuff left in her belly when she checked! Eventually if she continues to tolerate it well, she will get increased feedings and they will decrease her IV.
Today we did have another indication that Avery is truly the most awesome 1 pound baby ever! At our morning care session, I went to change her diaper and usually there is nothing but a bit of pee, but today she left us a HUGE present! The nurse said it was the biggest poop she had ever seen a baby this size take. So we took pictures, weighed it (10 grams!) and of course her daddy was SO proud :) Then at our next care session it was Bill's turn and again there was another giant poop! Bill handled it like a champ. It was his first diaper change--EVER. I was so proud and so was Avery. All in all Avery had 3 poopy diapers today which means that things are working. It also means she dropped some weight, but she'll put it back on.