Wednesday, September 14, 2011

what am i doing here...

On July 24th Bill and I went in for a follow up ultrasound appointment at 22 weeks pregnant. We were told after our 18 week u/s to come back in a month because the baby was measuring small, but not to worry because this wasn't uncommon and they just needed to get better measurement.
Bill and I went in that day totally excited to find out the gender of the baby since 'it' was being uncooperative the first go around. I had a hunch the modesty of legs crossed meant 'it' was most likely a girl, but I didn't want to get my mind set one way or another.
Early on in our u/s on the 24th, the tech told us we were having a girl. We were thrilled! She cooperated and now I just wanted them to finish the measurements so we could go and share the news. That's when our whole world turned upside down.
The perinatologist came in to follow up with us with a very somber look on his face, a look I will never forget. He told us he had bad news to tell us that was very serious. Our baby girl was not growing and it was likely due to an absence of flow between the placenta and her. On top of this my amniotic fluid was also at a critically low level.
 I don't remember much more from that initially meeting except a lot of unanswered questions, several mentions of still birth, and a lack of optimism.
I was crushed. Confused. Devastated. But elated. I was having a baby girl. A baby girl that we were not giving up hope on. Our baby girl, Avery Ruth Eller.
And so begins our journey.

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