one step forward...how many back?

Today was one of those days you just sort of wish you have skipped. Pretty much since I was admitted to the hospital a week ago my blood pressure has been boarder line high, but no one seemed too concerned with it. That is until this morning when I got an unexpected visit from the lab technician to take blood. I say unexpected because literally his appearance in my room was the first time I knew anything about getting blood work done.
My nurse informed me that I was having my blood tested at the request of my doctor due to my consistently "high" blood pressure. He wanted to test for indicators of preeclampsia. Great, just what I needed to hear and other potentially horrible set back.
A few hours later my nurse told me that the indicators don't show that I have preeclampsia so for now they are just going to keep monitoring for high BP. But shortly after that my doctor came to follow up and he feels that even though I don't have the blood indicators, he is pretty confident that not only do I have preeclampsia but that he thinks that is what is causing problems with my placenta and the diastolic flow. For those of you who may not know, the only "cure" for preeclampsia is delivery. So he followed up his diagnosis with more talk about the possibility of delivering Avery any day, especially if things take a turn for the worse.
We have obviously been aware that Avery being delivered early could be a possibility from the beginning of this, but hearing it again from the doctor is never easy. I know that every day I keep her in there, the better, so I worry that this is all happening too fast. I wish doctors were more optimistic in delivering their news. I suppose that is not their job, but hearing their cold reality of things sometimes makes all the good days feel insignificant in comparison.
As I type this Avery is working up a storm in my belly. Her kicks are literally a swift kick of reality that she is an energetic active baby who reminds me daily to never give up any hope no matter how dreary the day's news is.
Tomorrow morning is our growth ultrasound, so hopefully it will bring some more good news on her progress!