"oh, that's not good"

Avery had her follow up ultrasound this morning to track the progress of her kidney stones and since we were already going to be there they went ahead and threw in a scan of her lower spinal column to see if there were any concerns associated with the dimple on her back.
We were taken back in to a room with an ultrasound machine and an adult size hospital bed. A room very similar to the one I became all too familiar with during my pregnancy. My throat instantly tightened.  As Avery laid on the bed having her kidneys scanned I started to feel like I was going to pass out.  I started having flashbacks and all the anxiety and emotions that I used to get leading up to one of my ultrasounds came creeping back. I tried to do what I used to do back then; focus all my attention on Avery.  She was laying there, looking so tiny on that giant bed, and being so good as they gelled her up.  I could see the stones as the tech measured them. They looked huge, but I'm sure there was some sort of magnification going on.  There are still 3 of them in her right kidney but they are non-obstructive. We'll know more next week when we meet with the pediatric urologist what the results are.
When she finished with the kidneys the tech informed me she was going to get the doctor to perform the scan of her spine. He came in, had me turn her to her belly and jumped right in. He put the probe on her back and the first thing out of his mouth was "oh, that's not good." My heart stopped. Literally. He moved the probe around a bit and THEN clarified that he meant the image on the screen.  Jerk! Did you forget that you are scanning my daughter's spine to see if she has any issues? Wasn't there a better way you could have asked the tech to fix the screen for you? Or better yet I'm sure you've had enough schooling to do it yourself. Or is it that you've had so much schooling that you no longer have to do that for yourself? Ok I feel better.
That good news is that her spinal scan came back all clear! I should have known my little wiggle worm didn't have any issues with her spine.

I gots this handled.